Applying Love

Our twenties are hard. Our twenties are really hard.

I am sure when I am in my thirties I will think they are hard.

My forty-year-old friends are laughing and going to tell me forties are hard.

            I feel twenties are the first time it is hard. Hard for reasons other then your brother stealing crayons, or waking up too late to eat cereal before school. More importantly it is the first time people in our classes or in the halls at school do not have to be our friends. It is the first time where building relationship truly takes work. Relationships not solely directed at the opposite sex. We catch yourself asking girls for their numbers in bars, or over a lab desk in hopes that she becomes our next Bestie.

Right out of high school I found myself endowed with community. I find so much joy in some of the relationships I have with powerful women over the years. Most recently though, I found myself in a place where I was seemingly alone. Yes, my best friend was a text away, but I sat alone on a Friday night without someone to spend time with. I had no numbers in my phone for the new area code I resided in. For me this was after transferring colleges. For others this may be following the loss of friendships, a new marriage, or the ending of a relationship. Whatever the precursor, I believe we all have stood at a place where we feel alone. Sadly we so quickly associate that space with the idea what we are unloved.

This is NOT the case.

For me it was countless times over bible studies, or coffee with encouraging women. For others it may have just been a wall hanger from the craft store. Either way I feel like many women have heard the words.

“Love is patient, love is kind…”

We all have found support and motivation in the,

“Love does not envy, it does not boast…”

Maybe some of us have used it as an excuse to stay in an unhealthy situation. We have used it as a reason to NOT stand up for ourselves with:

“It is not self seeking…”

        A few months ago I found myself reciting to myself:

            “If I give my all to everyone else, but do not love MYSELF, I gain NOTHING…

For the first time ever God was telling me to look at this scripture in terms of my own self-worth.

LOVE YOURSELF

So for all those days in our twenties that are hard, and the ones that are easy, I have promised myself to put every word of this scripture into practice:

Love is patient

I promise to go slow. I promise to wait and remain calm through the seasons that I do not favor. I promise to not take life as a race against those surrounding me.

Have you not gone to college yet, but others your age are graduating?

Are you single, while your high school best friend is pregnant with her second child?

ITS OK

Love is kind

            I will not let the guilt, shame, and lies that fill my head define me. I will carry my head high. I will not allow others opinions to shape my actions or decisions. Instead my actions and decisions will shape their new opinions. Instead of waking up in distraught and pity, I will do EVERYTHING it takes to encourage MYSELF. I will spoil myself. I will do what is necessary; whether that be roses on Monday, or a hike on a Sunday and a message on my mirror daily.

Love does not envy

I REFUSE to look back on old skinny pictures and wish I had that past figure again. I will not regret college because it leaves me without more then $75 in my bank account and thousands of dollars in debt. I will not greedily wish for my past bank account. Instead I will promise to change who I am if I am unhappy.

Love does not boast,

 Love is not proud

I refuse to find pride in the person I am today in comparison to who I was. The past woman I was helped shaped me to who I am today. I needed her, just as much as I need who I am now. I will love all facets of who I was, am, and will be.

Love does not dishonor others

I promise to speak kindly of those around me. I promise to love them even on the days I feel so unloved. I promise to encourage, support, and grow those around me. I promise to enact the same ideas on others that I am working so hardly to do for myself. Just because I am working on myself, does not mean that I can ignore the world happening around me.

Love is not self-seeking

I promise to begin to look forward to my future and who I will be then. I am at an age where I have to make sacrificial decisions in order to positively impact my future. I promise to make wise decisions on money, health, and education. For those who are not yet in my life (my future husband, kids, and friends) deserve the support and protection these decisions will provide. I want the people in my future to have the best version of myself. I want to not act out of selfishness but out of hope for a better, ever changing future.

Love is not easily angered

‘Stay calm baby girl; stay calm.’

I promise to think before I act and not react out of my initial emotions. I promise to take time to process, think, and speak with kindness and grace

Love keeps no record of wrongs

I promise to forgive myself and those surrounding me. I am changing and learning just as they are. I will give second chances and not be discouraged when that also proves to be abused. I will then again, forgive and move forward.

It always protects

I promise I will not let a situation from my past affect my future unless it is positively. I will never let myself continue to be affected by people or things that I feel are seeking to destroy. I will move forward, and not look back. I will release the things and people who slow this process. I will guard my heart. I will stand for what I believe and fight for what I want and stand true in Gods will. I will not make decisions for others that will build them up, but in turn bring me down. That is not how selflessness is defined. You can protect and still provide.

Love always trusts

I am the only one who has heard Gods plan for me and I promise to act upon what I believe is his guidance. I will be joyful in His plan, and my unknown.

Always hopes

There is so much more ahead. I promise to dream. I promise to keep moving and continue to strive for the best version of myself.

Most importantly, I promise to always love myself.

“These three remain: Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

1st Corinthians 13